Why I called her Mom

In fall of 1977, my family moved to Whitestone from Astoria. I first met her while in the back yard of our new home. As I reached over the white picket fence to shake her hand, a beagle (Deegan) had jumped up and bit my hand as we introduced ourselves. Her name was Pat and it was "love at first bite." Nine years later, after asking her parents permission, we would become husband and wife. I had married the girl next door and began a new relationship with a family I would grow to love and respect.

If I had not already done so, I tried to win over their affection by being the best son in law I could be. I attended all possible functions (work permitting), whether near or far and volunteered to be the chauffeur for most. Trips up north became the norm every summer for the past twenty-three years with my mother in law aboard for most. What good summers they were, I am glad she made one final trip this year. After the untimely passing of my father in law, about a month prior to Matthew's birth, we all promised to try and spend more time with my mother in law. She was a strong independent woman who loved to drive almost everywhere and would occasionally be at your door at the most unexpected times. She said what she meant and meant what she said. She gave her opinion whether you were looking for it or not and although we did not always see eye to eye, I respected her feelings and I know she respected mine. I loved as her as if she was my own.

I don't really know when or how it came about, but I started to call her Mom. It may have been requested or just something I started to say but we both felt comfortable. In the past few years, I have spent more time with her than my own mother. I tried to do as much as I could for the woman who gave me her daughter for better or for worse. We had some pretty intense and in depth conversations. To those who think it is easy having parents side by side, it was sometimes a blessing and yet sometimes a curse. I'm sure it wasn't easy for them either.

Now that she has passed. Her suffering is over. I am glad I had the opportunity to see her on the eve of her last day on earth if only for a little while, not knowing that saying goodbye that night meant forever. I wish I told her that I loved her, but I'm sure she knew. I loved her like a mother and know one can take that from me, that's why I called her Mom.

Brian